Anxiety, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Llanelli, Love, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales

A surprise attack

Whilst I sat in the comfort of my own home . With a glass of water and a plate with some food on . Unwinding from a long , busy day of sorting . Putting my feet up and watching Grim .

A loud, droaning noise came from outside.

I turned the volume down on the laptop and listened for a minute or two .
The noise I could hear appeared to be voices, male voices . Aged 17/18 . At a guess .

I then heard the front door being tried .
I knew Rob was coming back from band practice, so I thought maybe it was him . But who would be with him ?
His band mates weren’t that loud and no one else would be with him.
I couldn’t hear Rob’s voice either.

After a few more minutes (and checking the door was locked) I decided to carry on watching Grim .

No sooner had I hit the play button , there was an almighty **BANG**

Someone had hit the window. 
It frightened me . So much so , I had to call my father. 
After he checked to make sure the coast was clear , I went back into the living room and …. broke down .
My whole body began to tremble and I couldn’t stop it .
I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself ;

“What’s wrong with me ?”

I never react this way . I am very rarely ever frightened .
But something had made me turn into this panicky mess .
I couldn’t believe it .

Through someone’s stupidity and probably thinking it was a funny idea to play ‘knock knock run’ . I had become a blubbering mess .

I managed to calm myself down by swilling my face with cold water , having a drink and a cigarette .
Once I had done this , Rob was back .
I felt safe now and managed to control my panic .
I spoke to Rob about how I felt .
It really did help .

The panic attack really had caught me off guard .
It’s never happened before .

I managed to get an early night (for the first time in over a year) and that has really helped.
I feel a lot more positive today .
It sounds stupid , but apart from that panic attack , I had a really good day yesterday .
To let that little down point take that away from me , well , that would be idiotic .

I’m not starting 2016 the way I did 2015 .
I’m starting to look for the positives rather than letting them find me 🙂

image

Advertisements
Anxiety, CBT, Depression, Diet, Invisible illness, Mental Illness

Friday night fun

So in a previous blog I mentioned I went to a gig …. I also went to another gig the night after …. It was AMAZING !! Best crowd yet and my man was amazing on stage 😀

Everyone loved them and I was comfortable surrounded by friends ! Old & new 😀

It was so nice to feel good about myself . I felt great because of the people I was with . The music was awesome & the other band , Stand Up & Shout were amazing too .

We all had a great laugh and we didn’t leave until closing time .
I had a few drinks but spent under £10 . We went to Tesco afterwards and I bought some food as I was starving lol . But I stuck to the healthy stuff . No sweets / crisps / rubbish 🙂 – Which was my downfall after a drink .

No panic attacks ! ! ! !
I was anxious before getting there , but that passed once we met up with everyone 🙂

It was a great night !!

image

image

image

Sadly , I was ill after being out two nights in a row and am currently still recovering from very painful joints .
It does suck when you can barely walk or get out of bed …. But those two gigs were worth it 🙂 lol