Animal Medication, Animals, Carmarthenshire, Coming together, Dogs, Excited, Exciting, Family, Food, Friends, Future, Health, Heartbreak, Kidwelly, Llanelli, Love, Medication, Pets, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales

Kindness .

I have been absent due to many reasons lately , to which I apologise . 

However , one of the reasons is that I’m busy . 

I’ve been going through one hell of a lot with my health and I found I started to spiral with my mental health , so I decided to do something positive . 

If you have read my blogs in the past , you would know I have a charity which I hold close to my heart . 

Many Tears Animal Rescue . 

They have been struggling lately for money due to their food supplier not being able to donate anymore . So all of their money is being stretched out over many things . One major thing being life saving operations . 

They have asked for help on their Facebook page :  https://www.facebook.com/manytearsrescue/

So I have decided to start up a Facebook page of my own , with raffles to help get some pennies for them . 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/395115930823972/

On the page is the go fund me link which I also set up for them πŸ™‚ 

https://www.gofundme.com/wp2arwjs-help-many-tears-animal-rescue

Every penny I raise will go to them . 

If you enter the raffles and live in the UK, I will post the prize to you (if you don’t live near) and the money will come out of my own pocket πŸ™‚ 

Doing something good has really helped me cope better with what I am going through . 

Since losing Ellie back in 2015 , I have chosen to help this charity because of their amazing work . They do so much for the animals . All staff work on minimum wage and never ask for a penny more . They even put their hard earned cash back in to the rescue to help the animals . Cleaning products etc . 


If you could please take some time to have a look , donate / share either this blog , the links or just the go fund me page . I would be extremely great-full . 


Thank you all so far for your support πŸ’œπŸ’œ

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Animals, Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, Coming together, Depression, Dogs, Family, Fresh air, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Kidwelly, Llanelli, Love, Mental Illness, New Years Blues, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, S.A.D, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales, Walking, Walking therapy

Fresh air .

The last few days I’ve been feeling really unwell . My sleep pattern is off , my heads been painful , I’ve even been feeling sick . Along with my normal aches and pains . So today I thought “stuff it” . 

I dropped everything , grabbed the boys and went out for a walk with my Dad . 

We are both disabled so there are constant stops etc but we needed to get out . 

Best decision ever ! 

We went on a walk called ‘The Cratch’ . It’s a lovely, quiet walk , out of the way , by the river in Kidwelly . There aren’t vary many people down there and the views are stunning ! 


I never get out because of my health , but I’m glad I did today . 

It was chilly but we wrapped up . Including the furkids . 

It’s not a long walk but it took us around an hour and a half . 

My head cleared instantly ! All of my symptoms eased and my mood lifted . It was a beautiful day . 

We met a lovely lady who’s recently moved to Llanelli from Manchester . She gave the furkids some treats and they played with her furkid . It was so nice getting to know them and chatting about our love of animals . 

We truly live in a beautiful place . It may be a small town , but Kidwelly has some lovely walks . 

I think my next purchase is going to be a walking stick which has a seat . I really need to go on more walks and I know I can’t walk very far unaided , so I think it will be a practical purchase . It also gives me something to look forward to . 

I may look into some other nice walks within driving distance , and take the furkids with me to explore them .

If you have the “New Years Blues” like me , I really recommend going on a walk somewhere . The fresh air has really helped me a lot . And for once , I am in bed before 6am . 

Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Eczema, Excited, Exciting, Family, Food, Friends, Future, Health, Heartbreak, Illness, Invisible illness, Love, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, RIP, S.A.D, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

Good riddance 2016

Thank God for that . 2016 is over . 

Not that I’m expecting 2017 to be my year or anything . But last year was filled with so much death . 

It started in June 2015 with my partners Gran and then my dog . And then 2016 hit and so many famous people started dropping . Over 80 celebrity deaths . Most being my idols , especially Carrie Fisher , that one really got to me at the end of the year . 

Not to mention my friends who passed away suddenly, both aged 28 .

I normally love Christmas and am like a massive child . But this year, it didn’t seem right . 

All my Dec’s went up . Time spent with family . Music , alcohol , cake etc . But I couldn’t help but feel this massive void . 2016 felt like it left me a shell . Emotionally, I had been so up and down that I think I was exhausted come the end . 

Don’t get me wrong , I appreciate all the amazing gifts and time spent with loved ones . I was truly spoiled again this year . I am just emotionally exhausted .

That’s one thing I can say though , I have slept through the holidays . Been going to bed super late and staying in bed to catch up on sleep too . 

I didn’t celebrate 2017 . I had tea in my pajamas and sat and watched TV with Rob all night . 

One thing I can say though . I am happy 2016 is over . I am ready to move forward from all of that rubbish . It didn’t make me stronger , it beat me black and blue . But it made me thankful for the time I have been on this earth and for the time I have left . Be it a day , year or seventy years . I am thankful . 

So with that said , thank you 2016 and goodbye . Please 2017 , do not be a copy cat ! 

Anxiety, Carmarthenshire, Colonoscopy, Coming together, Depression, Family, Food, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Medication, Mental Illness, Moviprep, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

The waiting game….

Had my colonoscopy on Monday . 

Ouch!!

I’m not going to lie , it was horrific . 

I had to have gas and air and pre med . I was still screaming in pain . It really really hurt . 

Naturally I am pale , but I came out of there looking like a ghost . I was white !! 

They couldn’t find a vein to put my canola in .  When they did it spurted everywhere .  Eventually my consultant got it in one go . 

I somehow convinced my consultant that I’m rich because we were all talking tattoos . He asked what I did for a living and I said nothing . To which he smiled and I didn’t correct him haha . It’s not a bad thing right ? It’s better than him thinking I’m a bum or something haha . 

I brought up about the laxatives though . They all agreed that something needs of be done about it . They have had loads of complaints !!

Back to the op . My Ulcerative Colitis wasn’t flared up which was good , but they found something they didn’t like so they’ve taken 10 biopsies and I should have the results in 1 to 2 weeks with a follow up app in 3 to 4 weeks .  I can phone to get the results before the app though , which is great . I hate waiting . 

The things they found could be anything though . From food intolerance to the major stuff I don’t want to think about . 

As I feel unwell daily it could be anything . Although , I do want tests done to see what I am allergic to as every time I eat my stomach hurts . It stretches and I have stretch marks because of it . So hopefully the results will confirm that and I can get referred for further tests and sort that out . Here’s hoping anyways . 
I hope I haven’t scared anyone with these blogs though . I have had 2 colonoscopies before this one and they didn’t hurt . They were uncomfortable but not painful . I don’t know what was different this time , but it was horrendous .  I highly recommend pain relief of all kinds haha . Although I did refuse the high end pain relief as I wanted to leave asap afterwards to see my friend who is in hospital .  I ended up missing the time slots though …. If I had known , I would have had all the pain relief going …. Not happy .  But I’m extremely glad I got it out of the way . 

Now all I have to do is get over the allergic reaction . lol . Yeah . My body has decided to be a jerk . We assume it’s a reaction to the meds . Although I am better tonight , I have been suffering with flu like symptoms . Shakes and feeling cold came first , then yesterday I was sneezing like crazy and my face was puffy , which only ever happens when I’m allergic to something . Today I’ve just felt like jelly . Wobbling all over the place . I’m also off food although I’m trying my best to eat . 

It really is worth it though πŸ™‚ At least in a few weeks I will know what is up with that area of my body and I can fix it . 

I will keep everyone updated .

Anxiety, Carmarthenshire, Colonoscopy, Coming together, Depression, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Medication, Mental Illness, Moviprep, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

Colonoscopy day .

They lied . Moviprep doesn’t last for 2 hours max . It used to …. But I have had just under an hours sleep and now I’m up to start drinking some more . I am dropping !!

I spoke to a friend who has been through it lately , she was up all night too with it . So it’s not just me . Be prepared if you’re going through it . 

It says after an hour of your stomach settling , you can take any prescribed meds . I took mine at 11pm thinking I would be fine . Turns out I wasted meds . 

I’ve had chest pains and a numb right leg and now basically no sleep before starting it all again . 

Colonoscopies really aren’t easy .  

People think it’s just a few laxatives and you’re away . I honestly wish it were that easy . I’m starving , exhausted and in a lot of pain . I can’t eat for at least another 8 hours (min) . I can’t sleep for another 10 to 12 hours . And my meds won’t start to work again , to take the edge off , for another 24 hours .  I’m shakey , anxious , feeling sick , and this is just the start of the day . 

I will get meds to calm me down once I am at the hospital , which do help a lot . But this really isn’t a walk in the park . It horrific .  Anyone who tells you different , really is lying . 

I am going to be telling my consultant today what I have been through and how I think it is unfair that people are up all night on moviprep .  Especially those with mental health conditions . No sleep makes everything a million times worse . 

I really can’t wait to get today over with .

Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, Colonoscopy, Coming together, Depression, Family, Food, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Medication, Mental Illness, Moviprep, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

Going for a colonoscopy .

Tomorrow is the day I go for a colonoscopy .  I’m nervous as expected .  My anxiety is high and I feel weak . 

I’m anemic and have to starve myself for 24 hours . I also have eating problems . I struggle to eat more than one meal and I struggle to eat before 4pm . 

I had to have food before 1pm . I made scrambled eggs on white toast .  I can’t eat white bread but you aren’t allowed anything else . So had no choice . I’ve been feeling ill ever since . Shakes and feeling super sick . 

I started the prep (moviprep) at 7pm . It’s foul . Smells of lemon and tastes like salt . Making me feel even worse . 

I am drinking plenty of water because of it though . Which is a plus !

Honestly , think this is the worst part of the op though . The colonoscopy itself doesn’t last very long and it isn’t painful . Slightly uncomfortable but not painful . (I’ve had 2 before) .

It’s not even the not eating part that gets to me or the effects of moviprep , it’s the anemia and the shakes .  The feeling sick and not being able to do anything about it . 

Normally eating something sugary helps , but I can’t touch anything now until after my colonoscopy at 2pm tomorrow .

I keep thinking that it’s worth it .  To see what’s going on inside . But the shakes really make me think otherwise .  

The bonus of it all for me though , is that I get a Costa after it all haha . I have warned my parents – as they’re taking me – that we will be sitting in there eating and drinking ! I swear I’m addicted ….

Well , that’s my little update for now . I will let you know how it all goes tomorrow , and how amazing the Costa was πŸ˜›