Animals, Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Colonoscopy, Coming together, Depression, Dogs, Exciting, Family, Fresh air, Friends, Future, Health, Heartbreak, Illness, Invisible illness, Kidwelly, Llanelli, Love, Medication, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, Pets, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

The past 2 weeks .

A lot has happened the past 2 weeks . 

Back in December I was told I was in remission with my Ulcerative Colitis . Which was amazing news for me . Even though I was getting small fare ups , I could cope . 

After 8 years of suffering I thought I was finally getting somewhere . 

Until ….

Last week I saw a doctor at my surgery . He went through my notes . I went down about hip and knees pains . 

He told me I had nothing wrong with my spine . Even though neuro says I have broken and bulging discs . He said everyone does . He also said I have ibs but didn’t test for it . He gave me meds for that . Then asked if I take anti inflammatories . To which I said no because of my UC . He went on to say that I can now as I’m in remission . 

He then said he will give me pain killers for me knees and hips and see how we go . 

That was last Tuesday . 

Five days later I was in extreme pain . When I read up about the meds , I found they were NSAIDS (Non steroid anti inflammatory drugs) . 

I stopped them immediately and prayed the pain would go away . 

Come Monday I was rushed to A&E . In pain and bleeding , a lot . 

Turns out I was right . I am not allowed these meds and the doctor in no way should have prescribed them . Even when in remission . UC is a life long condition . It never goes away , just lies dormant for a while . 

Now I have been referred back to gastro . Awaiting further tests to see what damage it has caused . 

Speaking with a doctor in A&E she confirmed that it can progress into Crohns in circumstances like mine . The worst case scenario is also bowel cancer depending how bad everything is . It’s doubtful but can’t be ruled out until I see gastro . 

However , this means my anxiety is at an all time high again . Panic attacks are back due to stress . All because a doctor didn’t do his job right . 

I am fuming to say the least . 

I feel like it’s one step forward and twenty back . 

I have really been struggling with all of this . Mentally and physically . 

Thankfully I have my family to help me through it . Without them I wouldn’t be able to cope . 

They have all been my rocks πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Family is definitely everything in times like these . 

They have helped me keep going and also encouraged me to take up hobbies to take my mind off it all . 

Along with raising money for Many Tears Animal Rescue , I have also decided to try out making glitter glasses πŸ™‚ 

They’re a lot of fun on my good days πŸ™‚ Although , I have quite a few now haha .

They help me relax and are super easy to make too πŸ™‚ 

My aim this year is to save more money . So making gifts is the way forward . Something personal and made with love and something that keeps my mind active and not ticking over on the bad stuff . 

I highly recommend it to anyone who loves being creative . It’s a nice pass time . Along with spending time with loved ones πŸ™‚ 


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Animal Medication, Animals, Carmarthenshire, Coming together, Dogs, Excited, Exciting, Family, Food, Friends, Future, Health, Heartbreak, Kidwelly, Llanelli, Love, Medication, Pets, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales

Kindness .

I have been absent due to many reasons lately , to which I apologise . 

However , one of the reasons is that I’m busy . 

I’ve been going through one hell of a lot with my health and I found I started to spiral with my mental health , so I decided to do something positive . 

If you have read my blogs in the past , you would know I have a charity which I hold close to my heart . 

Many Tears Animal Rescue . 

They have been struggling lately for money due to their food supplier not being able to donate anymore . So all of their money is being stretched out over many things . One major thing being life saving operations . 

They have asked for help on their Facebook page :  https://www.facebook.com/manytearsrescue/

So I have decided to start up a Facebook page of my own , with raffles to help get some pennies for them . 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/395115930823972/

On the page is the go fund me link which I also set up for them πŸ™‚ 

https://www.gofundme.com/wp2arwjs-help-many-tears-animal-rescue

Every penny I raise will go to them . 

If you enter the raffles and live in the UK, I will post the prize to you (if you don’t live near) and the money will come out of my own pocket πŸ™‚ 

Doing something good has really helped me cope better with what I am going through . 

Since losing Ellie back in 2015 , I have chosen to help this charity because of their amazing work . They do so much for the animals . All staff work on minimum wage and never ask for a penny more . They even put their hard earned cash back in to the rescue to help the animals . Cleaning products etc . 


If you could please take some time to have a look , donate / share either this blog , the links or just the go fund me page . I would be extremely great-full . 


Thank you all so far for your support πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Diet, Dogs, Eczema, Excited, Exciting, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Llanelli, Love, Medication, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, Pets, South Wales, South West Wales, Spiritual, UK, Wales

Everyday mini updates

Lola Bee invites you to join their network on tsu! http://tsu.co/ThatLolaGirl

Sorry I have been a little quiet on here lately . I have been battling with colds and viruses .
I promise an update will happen soon . I just don’t want it to be pointless and boring just for the sake of updating .
However, my link above is to my TSΕͺ profile. I post daily on there so you can see what I’m doing .
A lot is about mental health but other bits are about my dogs and little happy things πŸ™‚
I love TSΕͺ as a whole as the community on there are amazing and supportive πŸ™‚ If you wish to join then feel free to use my link to sign up (you have to know someone to join) .
But otherwise you can just link yourself above and have a nose on my profile πŸ™‚

I hope you’re all well and enjoying life the best you can πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Animals, Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Diet, Dogs, Eczema, Excited, Exciting, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Love, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, Pets, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales

Dogs & Depression Update

I have been asked by quite a few people , to write a blog about our dogs .

So I thought I would do a little update .

We have only had Stan the Jug and Oscar the Cavachon for 12 days and already they’re part of the family .
Stan is 8 months old and Oscar is 7 months old .
They’re our babies .
We love them more than anything !!
My parents have become Nan and Dats to them . My brothers are Uncles etc etc .

Stan needed a new harness so I spent a small fortune on a new one and am tempted to get Oscar one as well .
I know it’s a lot of money but they look amazing in them !!
The colour really suits Stan (Red) .

They were definitely a challenge .
Both needing a little house training and still currently going through other training regarding tricks πŸ™‚
But they’re gorgeous and so worth it .

Before them , I would stay in bed until mid-day and then clean and do sod all for the rest of the day . Leaving my depression get the best of me .
With the news about my broken and bulging discs in my back , it really wasn’t helping.  The thought of an operation terrifies me . So I needed something to help me .

The dogs have most certainly done just that .
They keep me on my toes .
But I’m up at 10:30 latest . Although , on weekend the dogs tend to sleep until 11:30 .
I feed them and brush them , let them out etc . All the usual stuff when you have a dog .

I have lost weight too !!
Massive bonus !!
I now have curves . Super happy about that .

I do take them on short walks .
I can’t walk far so we go as far as I can with a few stops here and there .
They’re great on the leads though. 
My parents and Rob help me with that though as I can’t leave the house alone .

I don’t get many depressive spells anymore , although they haven’t completely gone , but I’d say I’m 80% getting there .
My anxiety is up and down but not as bad as it used to be .

The choice to get these dogs was the best choice we ever made πŸ˜€

It helps that they’re cuddly . I get love 24/7 off them .

They do fight , but last Tuesday they had the snip so I am really hoping it helps .
Oscar is feeling rather sorry for himself though and always wants to be picked up and have sympathy πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Bless him though , he is just a baby .
Serious training starts after he has his stitches removed next Tuesday though πŸ™‚
Stan’s are dissolvable and he doesn’t seem to care that he had an op .
He is as bouncy and playful as ever . No matter how hard we try to calm him,  it’s next to impossible haha .
But all is good .

We are super happy and can’t thank our friend enough for giving us this opportunity . 

She is still in touch with the boys and gets to see them .
They love it as they get extra attention haha .
We love it too as it’s a win win for us all .

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Anxiety, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Diet, Eczema, Excited, Exciting, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Llanelli, Love, Medication, Mental Illness, Music, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, Pets, S.A.D, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

TSΕͺ

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Sorry I’ve been a little slack lately .
I’ve discovered a new social networking site and am currently getting my profile up and running to help me with my blogs .

It is fantastic and has amazing rewards !!

If you’re interested in joining,  my invite is above so you can.
Just enter ‘ThatLolaGirl’ when signing up and you are away .
I will help you and your business / blog / whatever you choose to add to it , get up and running . Just give me a shout and I will point you in the right direction. 
I highly recommend this for bloggers, it has helped me out more than any other site .

The community are amazing and I have had so much help through this πŸ™‚
It’s super fun and so easy to use.

Definitely worth a look

Animals, Anxiety, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Dogs, Family, Friends, Health, Heartbreak, Illness, Invisible illness, Love, Medication, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Pets, RIP, Sad, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Wales

Nadolig / Christmas – A little downer

This year has been a horrible year for myself & family . There has been so much loss & not a lot of gain .
So to say I’ll be glad to see the end of 2015 is an understatement!

Christmas was quite a sad one for me . It’s the first Christmas without Ellie .
I found it extremely emotional & Christmas just wasn’t Christmas this year .
It’s usually my favourite day of the year ,but that was because of Ellie . I used to love spoiling her & seeing her tear open the gifts . She was so funny & cute . But this year , there was a massive void that couldn’t be filled .

So myself & my parents opened our gifts at 00:01 . Rob wouldn’t let me open mine from him until Christmas day . But I didn’t get up early , nor did it bother me that I had to wait .
I put a smile on & got on with it .

I was spoilt . I have everything I have wanted & am super thankful for it . Don’t get me wrong , I was amazed by how much I had . I’ve even managed to book my eyebrow tattoos for Feb 2016. Which I have wanted , & couldn’t afford for a while .

But the void really stuck out .
It was like a massive black hole in the centre of the room for me . Constantly reminding me how lonely I am now Ellie is at the rainbow bridge .
I don’t have my ‘baby sister’ to spoil . My best friend to tell all my secrets to (if Ellie could speak , I would have been in trouble !!)
I’m not good at talking to people , so I tend to hide my feelings & then just explode over stupid things .
But when Ellie was around , I had someone to talk to & help me take my mind off things . She kept me sane .

It’s been over 6 months & I do feel myself slipping …. Slowly , back into deeper depression .
I have asked for another dog but I’m either called silly or just told no .
It has really worn me down .

I have nothing to do except clean.
When Rob’s in work I’m on my own . He works 5 days a week & leaves for work at 7am & doesn’t get home until 5pm.
I don’t have any hobbies except collecting PokΓ©mon cards.
Most of my friends live too far away / have a family / work or are ill.
I’m very lonely on a daily basis, which really doesn’t help my depression at all .

I’ve been given some bad news over the Christmas period too .
I need an urgent back operation as I’ve broken a disc in my spine .
I’ve been in agony for 10 years .
The doctors lost my first mri & then passed it off as anxiety pains .

So , due to this my back has gotten worse .
I had to ask for another mri . The first one I couldn’t make due to illness but the 2nd app I could & did .

So now I have been refered to a neuro . Although , I had to contact rheumatology to forward my results to my gp , to be told this .
Otherwise , I would have had to wait until Feb 19th to find out from them .

So , with that worry on my mind as well  , I have no one to talk to .
I would talk to Ellie about everything & she would help . It sounds silly , I know.  But she helped me through my dark times more than anyone could .

Rob doesn’t understand why I don’t talk to him about my feelings .
It’s nothing personal , I just can’t open up to people .
I can’t speak to my parents either .
I’ve always had a dog , since I was 6 . I’m just used to relying on them . Everytime , it’s helped .

All I found over the years , with people , is that they judge me / bully or bitch about me .
I can usually brush it off , if its pointless lies etc , but if it’s something that I have told them in confidence , it breaks me . I can’t handle that . So that’s why I have such high walls when it comes to me actually speaking to someone .

I’m really sorry this blog is a bit of a downer.  I’m just struggling right now & it’s hard to see the light .
I know I will get there , I have before . I just think that occasions like Christmas , really play on the heart strings & make you realise that money really can’t buy you happiness .

I am thankful for all that I have . But I cannot wait to say goodbye to 2015 .
I’m not saying next year will be better . I honestly couldn’t care less .
But I will take it a day at a time . I’m going to focus on me . (For once) .
I’m getting my eyebrows done on Feb 1st . Then I will be booking to get more of my sleeve done , and I aim to sort my health out with my operation .

If I manage to do all 3 , I’ll be happy .

I would say I’ll get a dog too , but every time I bring it up I get shot down or shouted at . So , I won’t get my hopes up lol

Anyway , I hope my readers have had a far better Christmas than me & I hope the new year treats you well !!

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Animal Medication, Animals, Cats, Coming together, Dogs, Excited, Exciting, Family, Friends, Future, Health, Heartbreak, Llanelli, Love, Pets, RIP, Sad, Wales

A little positive from a big negative

Well I did it !! I managed to pull a lovely group of amazing people together & get them to donate dog & cat bits for Many Tears Animal Rescue in Llanelli πŸ˜€

I am overwhelmed by how much we have managed to pull together !! Honestly did not expect this πŸ™‚
What was going to be a small hamper , has turned out to be something larger πŸ˜€

I am so happy !!

Considering this year started off rubbish , & it’s been getting worse & worse , I can see us ending it on a high with this donation to an amazing cause πŸ™‚
Cannot wait to take this hamper in to them tomorrow .
We also managed to raise Β£22
which may not seem like much , but it will help them with food / blankets / etc .

I cannot thank everyone enough !!!!

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