Being selfish.

This year I decided to do what I wanted to do .
Last year , as you know,  I went through hell and back with family and loved ones . We lost a lot and we’re left a mess .
I totally gave up .
But this year I’ve decided to be selfish .
I never put myself first and have always felt guilty for when I used to treat myself and not my friends or family .
Why should I ?
I deserve to be happy too !!
Last year proved that life is way too short to just sit back and hope and wish .
So this year , I have decided :

🌹 To eat clean and healthy .

Myself and my partner want to lose weight .
So far , so good .
All our food is clean and fresh πŸ™‚
Low fat and barely any carbs .
No sweets but we do have fruit and hot chocolate to help with the cravings .

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🌹 Get my eyebrows tattooed .

I have shaved / plucked my eyebrows since age 18 . So I have zero as I hate my natural brows .
So I decided to get them tattooed on . Semi permanent make up .
They last up to 5 years if you keep topping them up every so often πŸ™‚
Best decision I ever made !!

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🌹 Get more of my tattoo finished.

I started my sleeve tattoo last year . But as I had a lot going on , I ended up spending all of my savings on trying to save my dogs life (I regret nothing) .
So this year I have booked in for more work .
I have been put on the list for if a slot comes up . As William (tattooist) is fully booked for the year πŸ™‚

🌹 Seeing friends more .

I rarely ever get out .
I go to Rob’s gigs but I’m always on my own , out the way somewhere  (I can’t do crowds)
So this year I am making time for those important people πŸ™‚
This Saturday I have a few friends coming over for tea and some naughty cake (Home made – I’ll have a small piece)
Then in May I will be in London for The Damned and the day after I will be going to visit 2 amazing friends . We plan to go for food somewhere nice before heading home πŸ™‚
Then in the summer they’re  coming to visit us πŸ˜€
Exciting times ahead !!

Simple little things ,  but they’re making all the difference . I feel more confident and happy about myself !!

I wish I had done this sooner πŸ™‚
I know it sounds silly , but sometimes , being selfish really is ok πŸ™‚

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Watch “Grim Citizens – Charlatan – Official Music Video” on YouTube

This is my partners band .
I helped out a little with the lighting and helping to press record haha
But they did everything else !!

Super proud of them and what they’re achieving right now .
Good few gigs lined up and they have their EP out , which they also recorded themselves πŸ™‚

Let me know what you think πŸ™‚

I know this type of music isn’t for everyone but a lot of work goes into making these vids etc . So please take some time to appreciate that

Hope you enjoy !!

Now we have the Internet back I will be updating my blog soon . But I thought this would be a good start πŸ™‚

My weekend & week so far πŸ˜„

I have been a very busy girl this weekend . Been through a few emotions too .
So Friday I was babysitting my gorgeous nieces & cousin .
Travelling up I went on Facebook , my usual routine when stuck in traffic …. Dad driving lol .
I was commenting on a friends status . Everyone was messing around . It was all light hearted . But there’s always one who brings the mood down with a bang . This certain individual I have avoided for years , for many reasons . As have 95% of my friends over the years .
Anyway , it started off as an innocent debate . But I think he got a bit scared that I may show him up as he went extremely defensive .

Now way back when I was in school people would call me a “bullshitter” . It started with the typical line , “I met Cory taylor” . Which was the truth . But people got jealous and got nasty . Calling me a liar .
I then got on with it . A few people asked me about family etc . So I explained I have family in Canada and I would love to go and see them one day . I had only met my Uncle Mike & Aunty Jo . But I have so many cousins out there I would love to get to know .
This was then made into me lying again . Apparently , I don’t have family in Canada …. Ok then .
But you get the jist .
Over the years things got twisted and people literally made things up about me . People found it funny and it ended up that all the malicious lies they were spouting , we’re apparently coming from me . Even when I went away on holiday , I would come back to something new I had apparently said .
Now I know I’m not good at socialising and I don’t word things right . But it’s magic how I could be in 2 places at once saying all these things .

Anyway , back to the point .
This certain someone brought this up whilst he was in defensive mode . Calling me a bullshitter and being extremely childish and a school – like bully .

It made me have a panic attack .

I spoke to my Dad about it but he laughed at this person .
As he said , how many friends does he really have ? How many actually like him ? And how many just tolerate him because he’s a nasty ass ?
How many does he shove his “facts” at ?

It was going to be a political debate . But honestly , how can you have a debate against a bully ? Against a Tori ? Basically ….

It did get to me for about 30 mins but I got through it . I realised that he is just a bully . Plain and simple .
People don’t go around spreading malicious lies about people , unless 1) They’re jealous 2) They’re scared 3) They live a sad life .
I honestly pity him a little .
My life must be so much more interesting to devote his time and effort to , than his own .

So I stopped panicking .
We eventually reached my brothers house and I felt a lot better .
My Nieces & Cousin ran towards me & all gave me a huge hug .

We had a fantastic day .
We went to the park & then I treated them to water & crisps for being good .
They were all so thankful & Emily then made my day . She turned around , hugged me & said “Thank you . You really are the best Aunty in the world” .
She is 7 & the sweetest girl , ever ! πŸ˜„

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Saturday .

I spent the day with Rob .
We went to Margam park πŸ˜†
Heroes & Legends convention .
It was a lush day out .
Rob spent “too much” . We walked for miles .
I had a proper “fan girl” moment with Kitt (car) and with Captain America’s shield πŸ˜„
There were so many awesome stalls there .
Loads of famous peeps doing autographs & photos .
Elsa & Anna made an appearance too ! I loved them & recorded them for my Nieces & Cousin so they can see them when they come home from Cornwall 😊

I highly recommend this convention to anyone ! Cosplay is also welcome πŸ˜ƒ

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After the convention we went to one of my closest friends new house . Himself & fiancΓ© were having a house warming . They have bought their first house together …. It is amazing !!
I love my friend so much , he is like a brother to me . I am so Unbelievably happy for him !!
It was lovely to catch up & have a bite to eat haha . Cannot wait to see him next week for a bit πŸ˜€

Sunday .

Sunday was a more relaxed day .
Rob’s band are recording their first EP .
So I went along to The Parrot,Β  Carmarthen , & listened to them do it .
They only recorded the drums but it was amazing to watch (They have done so much more since then) .

After recording & packing up , I saw my good friend Aeddan . Only for about 10 mins , but it was lush to see him !!

Monday & Tuesday have been relaxed days . We have just chilled out together πŸ˜„
I’m currently spending the whole week with Rob as it’s his holidays . He turns 25 on Thursday (6th) So we are trying to sort something out for that too !!

So over the past few days , I have been super busy . Well , busy for me haha !!
It started as an emotional roller coaster , but has turned out amazing !!

A little update

Hi everyone . Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet as of late . Myself and Rob have been super duper busy sorting a few things out .
We do have a big announcement coming soon . Well , I say big , it’s massive for us πŸ˜€
At the moment , only close family know , but I will update as soon as I can about it .

So as you can guess , I am extremely excited πŸ˜€

My mood has picked up , although I do get a few lows from day to day . But having something to look forward to , is helping !

Still missing Ellie .
We haven’t got another dog yet . Never say never though !
We all miss Ellie too much and I think we are confused . We can’t replace her and our hearts are aching for her . But yet we are all feeling lonely and there’s a massive hole in our family .
So I can see us having another dog in the near future πŸ™‚

As my mood has picked up , I have been going to Rob’s gigs.
We went to one last night in The Lemon Factory , Swansea .
It was the best gig yet !
They started a mosh pit from no where lol
Everyone enjoyed !!
The crowd was amazing & the other bands were too !!

I have never felt so comfortable at a gig πŸ™‚
They were all really friendly & a little bit crazy haha
Safe to say , I fitted in well πŸ˜‰

So to sum everything up .
I’m feeling good .
I’m getting through each day and I’m excited for our future πŸ™‚
The lows are still there but at the moment I can cope with them .
Right now , I’m not letting anyone bring me down πŸ™‚

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