The power of plants .


When I mention I’m trying to go Vegan , the looks and comments I get are hilarious . 


I’m not doing it because it’s a trend and I’m not turning into ‘one of those people’ either . 


My body has been failing me for years . 

I’ve been told it’s because I’m veggie and need to eat meat ? 


Through research I have proven this is bull ! 

Your body doesn’t need meat at all . We aren’t meat eaters . 

Our diet should consist of plant based foods only . 

But I’m not that person who will dictate to you what you should eat . At the end of the day , I’m only worried about my body and the toxins I put in to it . 


I do blame medications and foods for my illnesses . 

Considering I have so many allergies along with many other things .  

I don’t want to be that person who just accepts everything anymore . I want to know the facts . 


For example , this is something very small . But I’ve been getting really bad eczema flare ups under my arms . I’ve even got patches under my arms which are dark and look awful . When I looked at what was in my deodorant , which I just picked up off the shelf 2 months ago . I found there is geletine in it …. Geletine !!!! Animal ingredients which shouldn’t be in a bloody roll on ?! 

Why would I want to roll dead animals on my pits ? Seriously ? Rotting animal . Makes me feel sick . 

Anyways , I’ve stopped using it and I’m now getting better . 

Not to mention all the other shocking ingredients . But I think that’s for another time ….


I’ve also changed from cows milk , which has no positive effect on us whats so ever , to almond milk . 


My bloating has gone down . 

I was told by my gastro that he’s doubtful that I have any allergies and my weight is all due to my over eating *of 800 calories a day* .

I think this may prove otherwise ?


I’m also drinking lemon water instead of squash . Again , that has helped . Less sugar , more plants / fruit . Natural πŸ™‚ 


Simple little things . 


I haven’t touched meat since I was 13 , so going vegan shouldn’t be too hard for me . 


I have stopped all medications and taken on natural plant extracts for pain relief , anxiety and depression and my UC . 


Well . What a difference ! 


I have zero side effects .


None . 


Nada ! 


Zip .



I am more or less pain free . 

Except for the odd ache . 

Which , is more than prescribed meds have ever done for me . 

(I don’t use honey but I couldn’t find an image without it in) .

If you remember last year , I was on gabapentin ? 

I was extremely ill and left to suffer as I couldn’t see a Dr .  

I had to pull myself off the meds and I was like a heroine addict . 

Sweats , headaches , shakes , the lot ! 

Not anymore ! 


I can choose when I need what now . 

I’m not reliant on the meds . I can go without them if needed . 

My anxiety and depression are low . 

Yes I still have my days but it’s not a daily struggle . 


I feel more like me now more than ever !


I’m not saying I’m cured . I’m not , yet . I’m still aching and I’m still trying to find the right dosage . I still can’t walk far and still need a walking stick . But I’m a million times better than what I was . 

Now the question is , if I can do all of this , with just those little things . What can I do with the big change ? Full on , 100% plant based life ? 

It’s going to take some time and some getting used to . It’s not an over night thing . 

But I am very curious . 

If I’m feeling better with the little things . Will I get cured with the big ? 

Another example .

After months of putting turmeric into all of my foods , I was in remission with my UC . 

The doctor was very surprised . 

He even asked me how .  I said , turmeric , his reply , 

‘Well I suppose it is a natural anti inflammatory , I think I’ll research this’ .


So there is some proof that plant based is better for us .  

I just wish I had figured this out years ago . Maybe I wouldn’t be in the place I am now ? Maybe I would be working as a theatre lighting technican *dream job* .

All I know is , I want to be mindful of what I put into my body .  I want to beat all of my illnesses and along the way , I want to try and help others too πŸ™‚ 

I hope this does help some of my readers and I’d love to hear if any of you have gone vegan and how you feel since you have made the change πŸ’œ

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I had a plan.

At age 16 all I wanted to do was act . 

I adored theatre and being on stage . I had been acting for over 10 years and had lead roles in everything . 

All the way through school I was an A* student at acting and script writing .

So when I went to college , it was to no surprise that I chose Performing arts . However , whilst on the course , I realised I had a passion for another side of it . I fell in love with theatre lighting, sound and set design . 

I finished my course after a year with a distinction* (highest grade) and then decided to go back and join the theatre lighting and design course . 

I thrived . It became my way of life . 

Although I was battling with my UC . My lecturer worked around it . He was so understanding and sent work home for me on days I couldn’t make it in . Then when I went in I did the practical side . 

I passed the course again , after 2 years , with the highest grade possible . I got extra grades too because I finished the work early . So I also got a qualification in PAT testing the lights and health and safety . 

It was amazing . Exactly what I wanted to do . 

I took a little break from studying and went to work in retail until I figured out if I wanted to go on to university or straight into the theatre lighting world .

I decided university would be amazing as I could stretch out into other fields too . 

But that’s when my body started giving up on me .

I had an accident whilst doing performing arts which has lead to me having broken discs in my lower spine . I have hip and knee problems too . I had to quit Uni 3 weeks before finishing the year . I was absolutely gutted . But I couldn’t cope with the pain and no sleep . 

I thought it would be a temporary thing . That I could go back and redo the year . But my body is failing me . 

I feel lost . 

I had my whole life career planned out . I knew exactly what I wanted . I set things in motion to get it . But that one slip in the dance studio has destroyed my dreams . 

The pain is getting worse . There’s no sign of pain clinic , physio or hydro therapy . 

I’ve seen physio once in the surgery just to try and get the ball rolling but the positions they have given me just hurt . 

I’m not sleeping for more than 4 hours a night and it’s a broken sleep . 

I’m constantly worried about my future . 

Being 28 and needing a walking stick with a seat on just to go places , is not how I planned for my life to turn out . 

My only interest has ever been theatre . I don’t find any happiness in anything else . But the fast paced environment isn’t for me anymore .

I really am stuck . 

I can’t work 9-5 because I don’t sleep well , so I drop when I drop . 

I’m unreliable because of that . 

Everyday simple tasks are a challenge for me . And my memory is all kaput because of the lack of sleep and pain . I can’t be trusted to boil an egg without walking off from the stove . 

I really do wish life was different right now . If only I didn’t have that fall , I would be on the track to my dream job . But I guess life had a different idea for me . A different path ? 

I wish it was possible to see the future , because right now , I’m stuck battling with my pains and emotions and it’s not fun and games . 


I’m sorry for a depressing post . But I’ve always said I will post the pros and cons of my life . Today just so happens to be a bad one . But I know , it’s only a day πŸ™‚ 

Kindness .

I have been absent due to many reasons lately , to which I apologise . 

However , one of the reasons is that I’m busy . 

I’ve been going through one hell of a lot with my health and I found I started to spiral with my mental health , so I decided to do something positive . 

If you have read my blogs in the past , you would know I have a charity which I hold close to my heart . 

Many Tears Animal Rescue . 

They have been struggling lately for money due to their food supplier not being able to donate anymore . So all of their money is being stretched out over many things . One major thing being life saving operations . 

They have asked for help on their Facebook page :  https://www.facebook.com/manytearsrescue/

So I have decided to start up a Facebook page of my own , with raffles to help get some pennies for them . 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/395115930823972/

On the page is the go fund me link which I also set up for them πŸ™‚ 

https://www.gofundme.com/wp2arwjs-help-many-tears-animal-rescue

Every penny I raise will go to them . 

If you enter the raffles and live in the UK, I will post the prize to you (if you don’t live near) and the money will come out of my own pocket πŸ™‚ 

Doing something good has really helped me cope better with what I am going through . 

Since losing Ellie back in 2015 , I have chosen to help this charity because of their amazing work . They do so much for the animals . All staff work on minimum wage and never ask for a penny more . They even put their hard earned cash back in to the rescue to help the animals . Cleaning products etc . 


If you could please take some time to have a look , donate / share either this blog , the links or just the go fund me page . I would be extremely great-full . 


Thank you all so far for your support πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Good riddance 2016

Thank God for that . 2016 is over . 

Not that I’m expecting 2017 to be my year or anything . But last year was filled with so much death . 

It started in June 2015 with my partners Gran and then my dog . And then 2016 hit and so many famous people started dropping . Over 80 celebrity deaths . Most being my idols , especially Carrie Fisher , that one really got to me at the end of the year . 

Not to mention my friends who passed away suddenly, both aged 28 .

I normally love Christmas and am like a massive child . But this year, it didn’t seem right . 

All my Dec’s went up . Time spent with family . Music , alcohol , cake etc . But I couldn’t help but feel this massive void . 2016 felt like it left me a shell . Emotionally, I had been so up and down that I think I was exhausted come the end . 

Don’t get me wrong , I appreciate all the amazing gifts and time spent with loved ones . I was truly spoiled again this year . I am just emotionally exhausted .

That’s one thing I can say though , I have slept through the holidays . Been going to bed super late and staying in bed to catch up on sleep too . 

I didn’t celebrate 2017 . I had tea in my pajamas and sat and watched TV with Rob all night . 

One thing I can say though . I am happy 2016 is over . I am ready to move forward from all of that rubbish . It didn’t make me stronger , it beat me black and blue . But it made me thankful for the time I have been on this earth and for the time I have left . Be it a day , year or seventy years . I am thankful . 

So with that said , thank you 2016 and goodbye . Please 2017 , do not be a copy cat ! 

Gabapentin stopped working

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As you all know I have been on Gabapentin 300mgs three times a day, for a while now.Β Well, as of 9 days ago, they stopped working.
They were a miracle drug for the short time they worked. I felt amazing. But 9 days ago I started to experience pain again, to the point I didn’t get more than 2 hours sleep a nightΒ for 7 days.
I contacted a doctor, explained my problems. He said to stay on them and keep the same dosage going.
I couldn’t bare it. The pain got too much again and with next to no sleep, I wasn’t eating properly.
So I took it into my own hands and upped the dose to 600mgs three times a day. Which was originally the plan anyway….

It’s helping!

I’m sleeping again, although I’m playing catch up and am still exhausted, I’m sleeping. I’m also eating somewhat normally.
It’s not the best choice, I didn’t want to do it without my doctors permission. But what can you do?

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I will be asking for other medication though. I have been warned today that I could put 3 stone on whilst being on them!!
A friend went through it and was told to get off them by their neuro.
She put on a lot of weight which made her condition worse, and as I have been told to lose weight as it is, it’s not a good choice for me either.
I need to lose 3.5 stone as it is. I can’t risk putting on 3 stone more. It will make the crushed disc worse along with my hips and knees.

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To help me lose this weight I am doing a 5k neon walk on the 22nd. It’s a massive thing for me but a friend is coming along to help me πŸ™‚
I feel good about it. I never do these things because of my anxiety, but I know it’s good to push myself from time to time.
I also know the people organising it so that helps on top πŸ™‚
– Yes, expect a blog about it!

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Sorry about the delay between posts recently.
I have been in a lot of pain as I have said (above). I haven’t been in the right mind to post anything.
But here’s a little update πŸ™‚
I will (hopefully) be posting more over the next few days though, to play catch up!

Clean Food & Depression .

I know you’ve probably heard it all before .

“Eat healthy , fresh , lots of Veggies , it helps” .

Well I’ve tested this .
I used to eat a lot of frozen/ packaged meals . Easy meals . Not so much microwave but just quick cooking meals . So I thought I would change my diet a little to see if it’s true about food and depression .
I’ve cut out A LOT of high sugary foods .
I eat a lot more fresh , although I do love my Quorn frozen foods . So I haven’t completely cut them out .
For example , today’s meal is stew . Fresh Veggies, carrots , potatoes , onions etc and I’ve added Quorn chicken pieces to it .

I do have treats . I will have a bar of chocolate here and there . I haven’t gone completely insane …. Yet haha .

But I feel a lot better for this .
I’ve lost over a stone in 6 weeks .
Granted, walking the dogs has helped , but I have more energy to do this .
I feel less tired throughout the days . I don’t need to nap !!
I used to always go back to bed for a few hours and I didn’t have much of a sleeping pattern . Since eating better I now have one . I get up at 10:30am to see to the dogs and I don’t feel drained through it .

I’m not completely 100% healed or anything . I still get panic attacks in my sleep , which cause a broken sleep . But I’m able to get up and do things . Even if I am slow at doing things throughout the day , I’m not as bad as I used to be .
I used to get up at 12pm EARLIEST. I’d be back in bed by 4pm . Sleep until 7/8pm and then be up until 3am and it’ll all start all over again .
Now I feel better about myself.  My depression is still there but I can control it better .
I still stay up late but only until about 12am then I force myself into bed .
I may not sleep straight away but I am relaxed .

I find eating less sugar has helped stop some panic attacks throughout the day too .
I’m also not breaking out in spots as often .
And I’m actually tired at a normal time.
Strangely , my hair is healthier .
I have no idea if food does that to you, but it feels and looks great πŸ™‚

I’m not a chef . I don’t cook amazing meals . I can’t be trusted around a cooker as I walk off . So I use a slow cooker . I can leave the food to cook and not worry about it boiling over or burning .
It’s a life saver !!

Stew is my favourite meal to make as it’s so easy . It’s fresh and colourful and full of goodness .
It picks my spirits up on those cold , wet nights and it gives me the energy that I need .

I don’t know why I didn’t listen to people sooner .
I suppose it was just easier not to ?
But I’m glad I have now .
I’m still looking at ways to eat better . I’d love to shop at places which sell better foods . It would have to be online as I can’t go shopping yet due to my anxieties . But I’m trying πŸ™‚

I highly recommend trying this .
It doesn’t have to be boring . Stew doesn’t take long .
All Veggies don’t take long to cook .
Also, remember , dieting doesn’t have to mean cutting all the nice stuff out . It just means to have it in moderation . I love my chocolate and there’s no way I will give that up . But instead of having a bar a day , I look forward to my weekly treat . I work hard for it and it feels amazing !

A side note about food as well . Veggies can be bought frozen and it’s not cheating when they’re precut.  All the goodness stays in them πŸ™‚
However , it is always better to grow them yourself …. I will be looking into growing my own fruit and veg soon.

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Everyday mini updates

Lola Bee invites you to join their network on tsu! http://tsu.co/ThatLolaGirl

Sorry I have been a little quiet on here lately . I have been battling with colds and viruses .
I promise an update will happen soon . I just don’t want it to be pointless and boring just for the sake of updating .
However, my link above is to my TSΕͺ profile. I post daily on there so you can see what I’m doing .
A lot is about mental health but other bits are about my dogs and little happy things πŸ™‚
I love TSΕͺ as a whole as the community on there are amazing and supportive πŸ™‚ If you wish to join then feel free to use my link to sign up (you have to know someone to join) .
But otherwise you can just link yourself above and have a nose on my profile πŸ™‚

I hope you’re all well and enjoying life the best you can πŸ’œπŸ’œ