Good riddance 2016

Thank God for that . 2016 is over . 

Not that I’m expecting 2017 to be my year or anything . But last year was filled with so much death . 

It started in June 2015 with my partners Gran and then my dog . And then 2016 hit and so many famous people started dropping . Over 80 celebrity deaths . Most being my idols , especially Carrie Fisher , that one really got to me at the end of the year . 

Not to mention my friends who passed away suddenly, both aged 28 .

I normally love Christmas and am like a massive child . But this year, it didn’t seem right . 

All my Dec’s went up . Time spent with family . Music , alcohol , cake etc . But I couldn’t help but feel this massive void . 2016 felt like it left me a shell . Emotionally, I had been so up and down that I think I was exhausted come the end . 

Don’t get me wrong , I appreciate all the amazing gifts and time spent with loved ones . I was truly spoiled again this year . I am just emotionally exhausted .

That’s one thing I can say though , I have slept through the holidays . Been going to bed super late and staying in bed to catch up on sleep too . 

I didn’t celebrate 2017 . I had tea in my pajamas and sat and watched TV with Rob all night . 

One thing I can say though . I am happy 2016 is over . I am ready to move forward from all of that rubbish . It didn’t make me stronger , it beat me black and blue . But it made me thankful for the time I have been on this earth and for the time I have left . Be it a day , year or seventy years . I am thankful . 

So with that said , thank you 2016 and goodbye . Please 2017 , do not be a copy cat ! 

An ‘it’s all in your head’ moment .

Today I was told that I was wrong about my mental illness. Nothing is impossible and that I can go out , I can go to the gym , I can go to parties and I can have a “normal” life .

Now usually that can be seen as a nice , positive , motivational bit of advice . However it wasn’t. 
I was told this because a guy can do it . Because he said mental illness was easy to cope with on medication and that he got over his rather easily despite the fact he still has panic attacks which cause him to pass out .

This really annoys me and this is why the stigma is still around .

I’ve suffered since aged 6 with mental health . I am now 27 years young and I am still suffering . I know what I am capable of and what I am not .
It sucks majorly the majority of the time .
I know I’m not the only one .
1 in 4 suffer and every story is different . You can’t tar everyone with the same brush .
Some are misdiagnosed and some do just have mild depression where they can snap out of it and some are even seasonal .
Everyone’s story is different .
But I was told I was wrong .
That I should be going out even though it’s tough .
That I should be working and living a “normal” life like everyone else . That it’s me , myself , making all of this impossible and no one else .
Basically , “it’s all in your head” moment .

My blood boils at this .
These idiots are the reason why there is very little support out there !!
One person in a million recovers from mental illness and all of a sudden we all can?!
No !!

You learn to cope with the hand you’re dealt .
You learn to live the way you need to . But not all can be “cured” .
It’s not that we don’t want to , it’s something that we want more than anything in the world .
But our lives are filled with vicious circles .
Eg ;
Depression comes with anxiety , Anxiety causes panic attacks , Panic attacks cause exhaustion , exhaustion causes us to sleep , sleep is broken through the panic , so we end up even more exhausted . Through exhaustion we struggle with daily tasks such as showering and eating . No shower makes us feel horrible and tired . No food drains our energy and causes many other problems such as anemia .

I can go on and on but I think that is enough to paint the picture .

I don’t have the energy to do anything with my day .
I try and try and always end up in bed .
Granted , I have 2 wonderful dogs to help me but they haven’t cured me . I still have panic attacks in my sleep and I wake up gasping for air . Resulting in a broken sleep.  Every. Single. Night.

So to tell me , after I have explained this to you, that I can just get over it .
I’m sorry but that is the biggest pile of crap anyone could ever say !!

I know me , you don’t.  Just like I don’t know many others who suffer .
I don’t have the right to tell them that I can cope with certain things they can’t, so I don’t .
I try to help , I say what I have tried . I be a shoulder , but I never judge . Our lives are so messed up and hard as it is . We don’t need this idiotic debate every time .
We just need support and to be able to talk about it all .

It’s really boiled my blood today and I don’t want anyone else feeling this way .
I really hope no one else goes through this as it makes you feel crap .

These people need to educate themselves !!

Please don’t let these idiots into your lives , don’t fall for their games .
You’re doing just fine the way you are . Small steps are the way forward , slowly and surely ๐Ÿ™‚

Stay strong !!

Everyday mini updates

Lola Bee invites you to join their network on tsu! http://tsu.co/ThatLolaGirl

Sorry I have been a little quiet on here lately . I have been battling with colds and viruses .
I promise an update will happen soon . I just don’t want it to be pointless and boring just for the sake of updating .
However, my link above is to my TSลช profile. I post daily on there so you can see what I’m doing .
A lot is about mental health but other bits are about my dogs and little happy things ๐Ÿ™‚
I love TSลช as a whole as the community on there are amazing and supportive ๐Ÿ™‚ If you wish to join then feel free to use my link to sign up (you have to know someone to join) .
But otherwise you can just link yourself above and have a nose on my profile ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you’re all well and enjoying life the best you can ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

Dogs & Depression Update

I have been asked by quite a few people , to write a blog about our dogs .

So I thought I would do a little update .

We have only had Stan the Jug and Oscar the Cavachon for 12 days and already they’re part of the family .
Stan is 8 months old and Oscar is 7 months old .
They’re our babies .
We love them more than anything !!
My parents have become Nan and Dats to them . My brothers are Uncles etc etc .

Stan needed a new harness so I spent a small fortune on a new one and am tempted to get Oscar one as well .
I know it’s a lot of money but they look amazing in them !!
The colour really suits Stan (Red) .

They were definitely a challenge .
Both needing a little house training and still currently going through other training regarding tricks ๐Ÿ™‚
But they’re gorgeous and so worth it .

Before them , I would stay in bed until mid-day and then clean and do sod all for the rest of the day . Leaving my depression get the best of me .
With the news about my broken and bulging discs in my back , it really wasn’t helping.  The thought of an operation terrifies me . So I needed something to help me .

The dogs have most certainly done just that .
They keep me on my toes .
But I’m up at 10:30 latest . Although , on weekend the dogs tend to sleep until 11:30 .
I feed them and brush them , let them out etc . All the usual stuff when you have a dog .

I have lost weight too !!
Massive bonus !!
I now have curves . Super happy about that .

I do take them on short walks .
I can’t walk far so we go as far as I can with a few stops here and there .
They’re great on the leads though. 
My parents and Rob help me with that though as I can’t leave the house alone .

I don’t get many depressive spells anymore , although they haven’t completely gone , but I’d say I’m 80% getting there .
My anxiety is up and down but not as bad as it used to be .

The choice to get these dogs was the best choice we ever made ๐Ÿ˜€

It helps that they’re cuddly . I get love 24/7 off them .

They do fight , but last Tuesday they had the snip so I am really hoping it helps .
Oscar is feeling rather sorry for himself though and always wants to be picked up and have sympathy ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Bless him though , he is just a baby .
Serious training starts after he has his stitches removed next Tuesday though ๐Ÿ™‚
Stan’s are dissolvable and he doesn’t seem to care that he had an op .
He is as bouncy and playful as ever . No matter how hard we try to calm him,  it’s next to impossible haha .
But all is good .

We are super happy and can’t thank our friend enough for giving us this opportunity . 

She is still in touch with the boys and gets to see them .
They love it as they get extra attention haha .
We love it too as it’s a win win for us all .

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TSลช

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Sorry I’ve been a little slack lately .
I’ve discovered a new social networking site and am currently getting my profile up and running to help me with my blogs .

It is fantastic and has amazing rewards !!

If you’re interested in joining,  my invite is above so you can.
Just enter ‘ThatLolaGirl’ when signing up and you are away .
I will help you and your business / blog / whatever you choose to add to it , get up and running . Just give me a shout and I will point you in the right direction. 
I highly recommend this for bloggers, it has helped me out more than any other site .

The community are amazing and I have had so much help through this ๐Ÿ™‚
It’s super fun and so easy to use.

Definitely worth a look

Being selfish.

This year I decided to do what I wanted to do .
Last year , as you know,  I went through hell and back with family and loved ones . We lost a lot and we’re left a mess .
I totally gave up .
But this year I’ve decided to be selfish .
I never put myself first and have always felt guilty for when I used to treat myself and not my friends or family .
Why should I ?
I deserve to be happy too !!
Last year proved that life is way too short to just sit back and hope and wish .
So this year , I have decided :

๐ŸŒน To eat clean and healthy .

Myself and my partner want to lose weight .
So far , so good .
All our food is clean and fresh ๐Ÿ™‚
Low fat and barely any carbs .
No sweets but we do have fruit and hot chocolate to help with the cravings .

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๐ŸŒน Get my eyebrows tattooed .

I have shaved / plucked my eyebrows since age 18 . So I have zero as I hate my natural brows .
So I decided to get them tattooed on . Semi permanent make up .
They last up to 5 years if you keep topping them up every so often ๐Ÿ™‚
Best decision I ever made !!

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๐ŸŒน Get more of my tattoo finished.

I started my sleeve tattoo last year . But as I had a lot going on , I ended up spending all of my savings on trying to save my dogs life (I regret nothing) .
So this year I have booked in for more work .
I have been put on the list for if a slot comes up . As William (tattooist) is fully booked for the year ๐Ÿ™‚

๐ŸŒน Seeing friends more .

I rarely ever get out .
I go to Rob’s gigs but I’m always on my own , out the way somewhere  (I can’t do crowds)
So this year I am making time for those important people ๐Ÿ™‚
This Saturday I have a few friends coming over for tea and some naughty cake (Home made – I’ll have a small piece)
Then in May I will be in London for The Damned and the day after I will be going to visit 2 amazing friends . We plan to go for food somewhere nice before heading home ๐Ÿ™‚
Then in the summer they’re  coming to visit us ๐Ÿ˜€
Exciting times ahead !!

Simple little things ,  but they’re making all the difference . I feel more confident and happy about myself !!

I wish I had done this sooner ๐Ÿ™‚
I know it sounds silly , but sometimes , being selfish really is ok ๐Ÿ™‚

My second side

I realise through my blogs I have taken everyone through my mental illness with me but yet haven’t let any of you into my life .
There is more to me than just illness .

Where do I start ?

I’m 27 years young and I live in a small town in South West Wales, UK. 

My parents are happily married with over 40 years together .

I have 2 older brothers .

I have had 2 labradors over the past 20 years . Tess was my first , a golden lab. And Ellie my second, a black lab.
I have had 2 rabbits, Sooty and Flopsey.
A hamster , Yoda (Yoda was a girl haha)
And a budgie named Ben .

I adore animals !!

I used to work , from the age of 16 until I was 22 .

I studied Performing Arts for a year. 
Then went on to study Theatre Lighting for 3 years .
I also went to University and studied Theatre Design & Production but I didn’t finish my first year . (Illness)

Films are a passion of mine .

My hobbies are :

๐Ÿ“š Reading
๐Ÿ“’ Writing books
โœ Art – Sketching & Painting
๐ŸŽฎ Gaming – Pc , PS4 , Xbox & Nintendo
๐ŸŽ€ Collect models / figures
๐Ÿƒ Collect Pokรฉmon cards

As I don’t work , I stay at home a lot . I very very rarely leave the house . So I have a lot of hobbies , along side blogging , to keep me entertained .
Although, I don’t get to do these daily .

I have 2 wonderful Nieces who I love spending time with, and my little cousin who lives with them . 

I basically live a very simple life .
I have a wonderful Fiancรฉ who has supported me for over 6 years and honestly , I don’t know where I would be without him .

That’s basically me .
I don’t talk a lot about myself because I’m not that interesting haha .
But I thought I would give you a little info about me ๐Ÿ™‚
I am more than my illnesses and I just wanted to point that out .
My whole point to blogging is to help end the stigma against Mental health . To do this people also need to know there are 2 sides to everyone.  The person & the illness .
We don’t choose this life,  Mental health is not a choice .
I wish it was .

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