Anxiety, Breathing, Carmarthenshire, CBT, Coming together, Depression, Health, Illness, Invisible illness, Llanelli, Medication, Mental Illness, Panic attacks, Panic Disorder, South Wales, South West Wales, UK, Unfair, Wales

On top of it all 

So to top off my previous blog , my health is complete rubbish again .

I am awaiting hydrotherapy , physiotherapy and pain clinic , all whilst battling to come off these God awful drugs – Gabapentin – . I am meant to have a colonoscopy in 13 days but can’t whilst on these meds . So have to postpone yet again . 

I have been told I am anemic again . Great . So here’s the fun part . . . . 

I’m anemic , so I have been told by Doctors that if my iron drops again I need infusions . End of . No messing around with drugs or vitamins etc as my body doesn’t absorb them and I nearly died last time . 

So I go and see a Doctor . We only have locums now .

She tells me I’m under half – Her words – and that I should buy vitamins to top up . She also said that when I decide not to be vegetarian my health will improve !! Bare in mind I am vegetarian because I have been advised by doctors to be . And having UC , it’s not a good idea to eat meat !

When I bring up what all previous doctors and consultants say , she just has a go at me and tells me to buy multi vitamins .  

So I walked out of there annoyed , but got those damned vitamins . Which made me sick , caused sleepless nights and made me feel worse . 

She also told me to stop my gabapentin .  Which I did and had severe migraines , shallow breathing and multiple panic attacks . Hense why I am back on them . 

Trying to see a doctor at the moment is hell . You just can’t seem to get an appointment . I am not only battling with my health but with my surgery . It doesn’t help . I’m stressed and ill and seriously do not have the energy .  Between what I have been through , my depression and all of this on top . These are the reasons why I have avoided posting anything , blog wise . 

I have missed blogging as it helps me and I like to think it helps others to be open and speak out . It helps settle my mind when it’s in overdrive and it makes me happy . But battling all of this , my mind is a mess . I can’t seem to function properly on a normal day . I’m exhausted , forgetful , snappy and just fed up . Nothing I do seems to help . 

If anyone has any advice on how to relieve pain , sleep more – at least 8 hours instead of 2 – , relax my mind etc . I’d greatly appreciate it ! 

Thank you all for being so patient with me and supporting me . It means a lot .

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