Anxiety, CBT, Depression, Diet, Invisible illness, Mental Illness

Thursday Night, Social Night …. For Once !

Thursday April 9th I went to a local gig . 

Rob was playing again but this time I had company whilst he was on stage 🙂 So it was a little less stressful for me.

However, I did end up having a panic attack before going. Over such a stupid little thing. 
I couldn’t find anything to wear !! 
As you know I am dieting at the moment , so I feel huge in EVERYTHING I wear. 
Well, Rob was travelling home form work at 4, it takes him an hour and 15 mins to get back . I had showered and dolled up which had taken me hours !! So it was 4pm & I still couldn’t find anything to wear . I was worrying as I was driving too , that I would make Rob late . 
Even though he wouldn’t be home until 5:15pm, we still had to be at the venue by 6pm. And the venue is 20 mins from my house by car. So this meant me getting everything ready . 
I had to sort his shirt out . Wash , dry and iron it . 
I had to get him something to eat and drink otherwise he would starve . 
And I also had to find some clothing that I was happy in …… All in a matter of hours . I managed to do 2 out of 3 before having a panic attack in my room . 

It’s the first one in a while . I had to sit down and everything went dark . I felt sick and dizzy and just wanted to cry .
But I managed to control it a bit . 
I remembered the breathing exorcises I learned during CBT . 
They helped a lot ! 
Slow breathing in and out .
Clearing my mind so all I was doing was hearing my breathe .
Then when I was slowly coming back to reality I was telling myself that everything was alright ….. And it was !

Even though I handled it , it took a lot out of me . So I took my time and eventually found a poncho and some pleather (plastic leather) leggings and my boots . 

We ended up being late any way lol 
But it turned out that the first band that was playing , were an hour late any way so us being late by 15 mins was nothing haha ! 

The gig was brilliant !
Rob , Matt and Kay were awesome as usual ! 
My friend enjoyed too and it was so lovely to catch up with him 😀 
We rarely see one another but he is like a brother to me ! 

So , despite me panicking and thinking the world was over just because I couldn’t find decent clothes ….. It wasn’t over and I had a good time . 
Getting out really helped me too as I NEVER go places . It was so nice to feel the breeze on my skin and to actually have some sort of social life 🙂 

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