Over the Christmas period (and new years) I have noticed a lot of my friends struggling.
It’s not been easy, I get that. What with money, partying going on around you , drinks , laughter and people being jolly . I get it more than most . It’s like you are drowning in a sea of people and you just can’t seem to move through them . You feel stuck whilst they swirl around you laughing . The laughter just gets louder and louder and there’s nothing you can do about it but stand there and pretend everything is ok . Because if you don’t , you’re scared that you will break and that people will judge you .
I just want you to know that I completely understand this .
I understand that it’s hard to be happy at “the happiest time of the year” .
But it’s ok !
Not everyone has to be happy !
Just remember every 1 in 4 suffers in one way or another .
So if you are standing in a room full of people , say 15 family members , there are at least 3 people there who will understand .
It’s ok to walk away , to cry , to scream & shout . It’s ok to not feel ok with it . You don’t have to hide your feelings because lets be honest, it just sucks !!
People have told me I am melodramatic and that I dramatise my illness .
It’s strange because I never used to speak about it until I had CBT . But apparently I ALWAYS talk about it .
I’m ok with that though , because it shows that those people , they have no clue about me .
So I may wear my heart on my sleeve and I may be open about my life . So what ?! At least I’m HONEST ! And that’s what makes US …. Sufferers of mental health , better than anyone .
We are real .
We live in the now !
(Not that we have much choice to live anywhere else lol.)
But we don’t hide and pretend everything is ok .
Life isn’t perfect for anyone and those who tell you otherwise are liars ! Life is tough .
But someone made me realise something tonight . My best friend actually .
She is struggling with her illness at the moment and it’s extremely difficult for her .
She posted up a picture on Facebook which read :
” Every thought is a battle , every breathe is a war , and I don’t think I’m winning anymore “
But she is winning !! And I hate the fact that she can’t see that !!
It’s been a difficult month for me and with others , that I have mentioned , judging me and basically bullying , I’ve been very very low .
But who was there for me ?
My best friend !
Who made sure I smiled ? Laughed ?
Who put all of their troubles aside just to make sure I was ok ?
Who took time out from their FAMILY to come and see me ?
My best friend !!
I am really thankful to have someone so special in my life !
I mean look at her , she can do all the above and be a mother , a wife , a sister , a daughter .
She can wake up every morning and put a smile on someones face .
She can see to her children and make sure they get to school , pick them up from school , play with them , feed them and so so much more !!
She can do all of this and battle with her illness at the same time !!
If that doesn’t prove she is winning …. I don’t know what is !!
And I’m sure there are many of you super strong people out there just like her 🙂
Being amazing !!
I am so sorry you all suffer but look at you !! Look at what you have achieved in life so far 🙂
You are going to achieve so so much more too 🙂
Stay strong , fight this bastard illness and show it what you are made of !!
You DESERVE that much ❤