So this week has been a tough one.
Once again, depression has creeped up on me and hit me with a
For no reason ….
I have been lazy all week . Not wanting to get out of bed because I haven’t slept well . But even when I do sleep well I wake up exhausted and not wanting to move .
I seem to wake up all sticky eyed and meh (sexy I know) !
I haven’t showered in a few days because I just couldn’t be bothered (typical with my depression).
My Dad has tried to get me out a few times , offering to take me to town shopping or to go to Tesco for Pokémon cards . But I just don’t want to be around people …. I like the inside of my bedroom too much, at least here I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to , or hear people commenting on others thinking they’re funny ….
Mam and Dad are dragging me to town tomorrow though, so I have to be up and showered and dressed in the morning and I HAVE to go out . I don’t want to , but I know it will help .
The first thing I want to do with depression is hide …. Lock everything away and say it’ll be ok ….. But I know it won’t be unless I act on it . I HAVE to get some fresh air ….
I am terrified I’ll have a panic attack in town though . They have decided to show up again too (-.-)
On one plus side …. I have taken up painting again
It’s something I can do along side collecting Pokémon bits and it’s one thing I can do in my bedroom out of the way 🙂
I am enjoying it though , which is strange because I don’t find enjoyment in things anymore .
I miss my books but I can’t seem to read them without getting headaches and putting them down after 3 pages . But I can paint all day and enjoy it . I think about all the layering , colours , blending , learning new things via Youtube 🙂 It’s fab !! Only downside is , it’s in my room . And as I enjoy fantasy painting , I can’t exactly go out and paint ….. Even though I have just had a great idea for my next painting and a place in my home town ^_^
This is my current work …. Although I have layered it a bit now , I am waiting on more paints so I can do the horns before I post a current photo .
It’s nothing amazing …. Just something I found on youtube about a year ago . I sketched it before but now I’ve decided to paint it up 🙂
But it’s a distraction and I’m enjoying it 😀
Really wish I could get the motivation to get up in the mornings though so I can finish it !!
Anyone have any tricks on kick depression up the butt ?
Could really do with some right now 🙂