Not so good but ok….

So I didn’t manage to challenge myself . Not through choice though. I have a bad cold and my face is swollen so I didn’t get to sleep until 7am. I slept until 1pm and then tidied my room. I was so worn out I was in bed come 9:30pm!!
I am gutted!!
Although, I am hoping that come tomorrow, after dosing up on meds, that I will be able to challenge myself again. I HAVE to get down the post office no matter what, but I also want to do a food shop so to do all of this I need to be up and moving in the morning !!

My plan is:

9am – Get up & make coffee.
9:15am – Make breakfast.
10am – Shower.
11:30am – Go down the post office.
12pm – Do a food shop.
2:30pm – Make food & possibly bake some cakes 🙂
4pm – Sort out all the clutter in my room & get it up on eBay!
After that, chill.

Hopefully, I will be able to get this done. It’s a massive challenge for me as after going out to the post office I know I will mentally drained & want to go back to bed lol I have to fight this. Just to prove, to myself, that I can do things when I set my mind to it 🙂

Also just want to say a massive THANK YOU to all of my followers. Your feedback means a lot to me !! ❤

youre awesome

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Challenging myself.

Ok, so I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I keep getting awful nightmares and I wake up sweating and feeling sick. I’m getting headaches as I’ll only get about 4 hours sleep a night & to be honest, I am letting them win. I go back to bed during the day for naps. I don’t do much all day & I just mope around.

So tomorrow, I have decided…. No matter what time I go to bed tonight, I will be up & moving by 10am LATEST. I will have a shower, coffee & force myself to eat a proper breakfast. Maybe fried eggs on toast ? lol

I will then go down the post office (with my Dad) & post items I have sold on eBay. Hopefully, I can do all of this by 2pm.
I then need to clean my room – BIG TIME !!
So I’m going to have a proper clear out and anything that I don’t need I am going to sell on eBay. I am sick of this mess now! I literally have no more space to put anything, so come Christmas I am screwed for storage (-.-)

But yes. This is my challenge. No matter how tired I am, I HAVE to try & push myself.

Let’s see if I can do this 😀 

Fed up!

I see a lot of people moving on with their lives. Starting new chapters. Either with a new job, marriage or a baby & I keep thinking, I wish that was me.


I want a job, something I can enthuse over. I don’t know what I want to be.

I’m 26 soon and stuck in this rut.

I love art, baking, music, theatre, history & acting.
I’m a fully qualified Theatre Lighting Technician. But I don’t enthuse about it anymore.
I used to, it was all I knew at one point. It’s the only thing I KNOW I am good at. But I don’t enthuse about it.

I do enthuse about baking. I love cakes! But that’s the only thing I like. Baking at home.
A part of me would love a little restaurant, somewhere, to sell tea and cakes. But there is no where, that I know of, locally, that the business would thrive in! Plus don’t you need paper work to prove you can bake etc ? I don’t have time to go back to college, unpaid, and study.

I’m still unwell with my mental health. But I really want something now. I need something!
It’s come to the point where I feel a bit useless.

My fiancé has a 40 hour job and a good pay packet coming in and I have sod all. If I worked full time we could have everything. It’s not fair on him to have to provide for me because I have sod all. I feel really bad about it!
He can make all these plans and not worry about the cost. But here’s me having to sell things just to get by. It’s not fair!

I know I can’t work, especially full-time. I collapse with panic attacks when out in public so trying to find an employer who understands that…. Well, it’ll never happen lol!
And getting my own business…. Yeah no one’s going to want to help fund someone with a mental illness.
There has to be some sort of option though…. Right?
GAH!
I’m fed up! 

Please help ….

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-the-parrot-and-make-it-even-better#home

As you all know, I suffer with Anxiety & Depression & life gets really tough for me.
I am terrified about leaving the house. I NEVER go out without someone with me, mainly Rob or my parents.
I find it super hard to mingle with people. I get panic attacks & I never feel safe.
I understand for some people this is hard to imagine, but it’s the truth. I don’t feel safe in crowds, I don’t have a normal life. I don’t party every weekend. I don’t drink much. I don’t go shopping. Etc. Etc.
What I normally do is stay in.

However. This pub, The Parrot, REALLY helped me over come a few hurdles I have in my life. Although I still didn’t leave the house alone, when The Parrot was open, I could go in there. I watched a few bands & even helped out on the doors from time to time. I would pop in for an iced coffee (THE BEST Iced coffee around) during the days I was able to get out. This was all thanks to the kind and understanding staff there. They always have time to get to know you. To chat about your day, to help you if you were stuck with anything. They would make me feel safe. They somehow got me to laugh, I rarely laugh these days!! 

This place is more than just a pub. During the days it’s a cafe with a music shop upstairs. Children are welcome and they even have toys in there for them to play with! (and you if you want to lol)
In the evenings it would get turned into a music venue for local bands to strut their stuff & for all the locals to come in and have some fun! Drinks were all reasonably priced. The music was always good. The people, customers, were friendly and there were NEVER any problems with people fighting etc. It was a great place to be and it would put you in a great mood.

For once, I’d feel normal. For 3/4 hours a night I would feel like a normal person being there. No other pub has done that for me. No other place has ever been so welcoming and understanding. This is why ‘The Parrot’ needs your help. Just £1 will go a long way!!
There are perks if you donate more, all of them are in the link:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-the-parrot-and-make-it-even-better#home

But £1 from each supporter all adds up.
I’m skint ALL the time but I can afford £1 here and there to go towards such a great place!!

Please help them out! Let’s get this amazing venue back up & running 🙂